Today, I have another great quote from my Gary John Bishop desk calendar: “The ultimate expression of love is loving another in the way they want to be loved.”
I love, love, love this quote. It reminds me of the book The Platinum Rule. In this book, it says, “Do unto others as they’d want done unto them,” as opposed to the golden rule, which says, “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” The idea is to communicate with others the way THEY need to be communicated with.
Often, we complain about not receiving the type of love we want. So, maybe we should consider telling the person we’re seeking that love from just how we need them to show up and show it.
On the other side of this, how about if we also sought to understand what others need from us – communication, love, etc…?
These two approaches seem like they’d take some guesswork out of the dilemma.
The Five Love Languages reminds us not to tell our loved ones what we need from them, but to find out what they need and start to act on that. So, if their love language is words of affirmation, and yours is acts of service, don’t tell your partner you need to do more things for me. Start giving them what they need with words of affirmation.
If you can’t figure out their love language or how they want to be loved, ask them. We spend an awful lot of time making assumptions about what other people want, and sometimes we just need to ask.
Great conversations come when we pay more attention and listen more closely to others’ words.
If they say, “I see what you mean,” I might say, ”Do you see what I’m saying?”
If they say, “I can picture that,” I might say, “Can you picture this?”
Also, pay attention to body language and tone. You know the sayings: “know your audience” and “read the room”?
You get the drift; once you get it, it’s amazing.
Life is good,
Jeff
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